I’m Tanesha.

I became incredibly good at reading the room, anticipating people’s needs, and shaping myself into whoever I thought I needed to be. I chased the goals that made sense, overthought nearly everything, questioned my own voice, and spent far too much time trying to become someone I thought would finally feel like enough — accepted, and maybe even cared for in return.

From the outside, my life looked successful.

Inside, I felt disconnected from myself.

My body hurt, despite knowing how to take care of it — and I actually was eating well, exercising, stretching…

My sleep suffered, even when I technically got “enough.”

I forgot how to play. I forgot what it felt like to do something simply because it brought me joy.

I didn’t speak up for myself, have preferences, or risk “rocking the boat” if someone did something that hurt me. It always felt like something that I needed to address in myself rather than asking someone else to address or take accountability for their behaviors.

And I didn’t truly feel like I deserved anything outside of what brought my family up. I was a piece of the puzzle, not my own picture.

For years, I believed that if I could just find the right answer, I’d finally feel okay.

I kept looking outside myself, convinced someone else had the answer I couldn’t seem to find.

I created checklists of all the things I was supposed to do, and felt like I had failed if I had missed something or “fell off the wagon” when life got busy.

Along the way, I became so skilled at understanding why other people behaved the way they did that I stopped asking whether the way they treated me was okay. I gave away pieces of myself because empathy came more naturally than boundaries.

I treated my body like something to manage instead of a relationship to nurture. When it spoke through stress, pain, fatigue, or illness, I assumed it was betraying me instead of trying to communicate with me.